As your pre-teen or teen gets older, they will start to develop relationships with their peers. Dating will most likely become an important part of your teen's life. Your teen may already be in romantic relationships with others, or maybe dating is not quite on their mind yet. Regardless of how they feel about dating right now, you may have some questions about how to prepare. It might feel intimidating, but below are answers to support current or future relationships.

This section of Relationships and Disclosure covers:

Things to Know About Relationships

Relationships and Bleeding or Blood Disorders

Disclosure in Dating and Relationships

Things to Know About Relationships

Whether your teen is dating or not, it's important to make sure the relationship is healthy. What does a healthy relationship look like? A healthy relationship is one where they feel safe. No relationship is perfect, and all take work, but your pre-teen or teen should always feel safe, physically and emotionally. Other signs a relationship is healthy include:

  • Their partner(s) celebrates them. Your teen's partner is proud of their accomplishments and successes.
  • Their partner(s) lets them be who they are and respects any differences.
  • They feel like they can be themselves around their partner and can communicate their thoughts and feelings, including when there are hurt feelings.
  • They enjoy being around each other but also freely give each other space to follow interests and spend time with friends and family.
  • They feel respected by their partner(s).
  • They never feel forced to do something they are not comfortable doing.
  • They have fun together and enjoy being around each other.
  • They feel they can express their thoughts and be open and honest about feelings. They can trust that their partner(s) will be supportive.
  • Their partner(s) understands and supports them through managing their bleeding or blood disorder.

Being in a healthy relationship means both people feeling physically and emotionally safe. Relationships take work and require open communication. It sometimes may feel hard to be honest about feelings. Your pre-teen or teen may feel uncomfortable expressing their feelings. They may know that it is something they need to work on. That is very different than feeling like they can’t express their feelings because they are afraid of their partner reacting in a way that would make them feel unsafe. They should always feel safe and loved.

If your teen is not feeling good about themselves in a relationship, it may be a sign the relationship is unhealthy. Other signs of an unhealthy relationship include a partner being dishonest, trying to take control, not communicating, or pressuring another partner. A relationship where one partner is trying to keep power and control over another partner is not just unhealthy but abusive.

It can be difficult to talk about feeling unsafe in a relationship. Your pre-teen or teen may be tempted to think they are making too much of their feelings or being unfair to their partner. But safety is the most important issue. You can suggest they try talking to a social worker at their Hemophilia Treatment Center (HTC) or another mental health provider.

If you think your pre-teen or teen is in an unhealthy relationship and does not know how to leave, get them help right away. They deserve to be with someone that makes them feel safe. Below are resources if they are in an abusive relationship:

Relationships and Bleeding or Blood Disorders

A bleeding or blood disorder is part of your pre-teen or teen, so it is important that their partner(s), embrace their disorder. This may not happen right away. Here are some questions to help you guide your teen to decide if the relationship is right for them:

  • Does their partner take an active interest in their blood or bleeding disorder? Do they want to learn more about and understand how to manage a blood or bleeding disorder?
  • Does their partner take an interest in them as a person and not just their blood or bleeding disorder?
  • Does their partner want to learn about their blood or bleeding disorder?
  • Do they feel they can count on their partner for support in a crisis? Or do they think their partner will become another burden?

Disclosure in Dating and Relationships

It is your pre-teen or teen’s decision who they share their disorder with and what information they share. Your pre-teen or teen may have already disclosed their disorder to others. They might have talked about their blood or bleeding disorder to friends, teachers, and maybe even to romantic partners. Disclosure is truly an ongoing process throughout life.

As your pre-teen or teen’s relationships may be getting more serious there may be new people to whom they disclose their disorder. A few tips to remember:

  • Remind your pre-teen or teen to be patient. It may be hard to keep explaining their disorder to new people. Tell them to give others time to adjust. They can answer any questions calmly and give the correct information if needed.
  • Ask your pre-teen or teen to think about and prepare for the questions others may have. For example, if they are disclosing to the family of a friend or romantic partner, think about how the family may react. Talk about what to do if someone reacts badly and how to respond.
  • Discuss with your pre-teen or teen being open and honest. If they are comfortable, suggest they explain that their disorder is treatable, and how they treat it.
  • Support your pre-teen or teen to have educational materials ready. Talk with them about useful websites to share. They can start right here at Steps for Living!

Empower your pre-teen or teen to invite new friends or partners to a chapter event, like an education day or walk. This allows them to meet other people in the bleeding disorders community.