Relationships, Disclosure & Bleeding Disorders

This section of Relationships and Disclosures covers:

Relationships and Bleeding or Blood Disorders

Healthy Relationships

Whether you've been dating someone for a while or just started seeing someone, it’s important to make sure the relationship is healthy. If you have a blood or bleeding disorder, you may have additional considerations.¹

What does a healthy relationship look like? A healthy relationship is one where you feel safe. No relationship is perfect, and all take work, but you always should feel safe, physically and emotionally. Other signs a relationship is healthy include¹:

Your partner celebrates you. Your partner is proud of your accomplishments and successes.
Your partner lets you be who you are and respects your differences.
You feel like you can be yourself around your partner and can communicate your thoughts and feelings, including when they have hurt your feelings.
You enjoy being around each other but also freely give each other space to pursue interests and spend time with friends and family.
You feel respected by your partner, and you make choices together.
You never feel forced to do something you are not comfortable doing. In all relationships, even long-term ones, both partners should communicate consent.
You have fun together and enjoy being around each other. You feel happy in their presence.
You feel you can express your thoughts and be open and honest about your feelings. You can trust that your partner will be supportive.
Your partner has interests outside of your life together and they support your interests.
Your partner understands and supports you through managing your blood or bleeding disorder.
If applicable, you and your partner make financial choices together.

Being in a healthy relationship means both people feel physically and emotionally safe. Relationships take work and require open communication. Sometimes it can be hard to be honest about how you feel. You may feel uncomfortable expressing your feelings. This is different than feeling like you can’t express your feelings because you are afraid of your partner’s reactions. You should always feel safe and loved.

If you are not feeling good in the relationship, it may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Other signs can include a partner being dishonest, trying to take control, not communicating, or pressuring you. A relationship where one partner is using certain behaviors to keep power and control over another partner is not just unhealthy but abusive. It can be difficult to talk about feeling unsafe in a relationship. But your safety and the safety of your loved ones is the most important issue. Try talking to a social worker at your Hemophilia Treatment Center (HTC) or another mental health provider to get support.

If you think you are in an unhealthy relationship and do not know how to leave, reach out to a trusted family member or friend, co-worker, health care provider, or the police. You deserve to be with a partner who makes you feel safe. Below are some additional resources:

Relationships and Bleeding or Blood Disorders

When it comes to relationships, it is important to feel understood and accepted for who you are. A blood or bleeding disorder is part of you, so it is important that your partner accepts and embraces your disorder. This may not happen right away. If it is not something you talk about, they may not feel comfortable talking about it either. If you have disclosed your disorder here are some questions to help you decide if this relationship is right for you.

Does your partner take an active interest in your blood or bleeding disorder? Do they want to learn more about and understand how to manage your disorder?
Does your partner take an interest in you as a person and not just your blood or bleeding disorder?
Does your partner want to learn about your blood or bleeding disorder, or do they think it is your problem?
Do you feel you can count on your partner's help in a crisis? Or do you think your partner will be a burden for you?

Disclosure in Dating & Relationships

When and with whom you share information about your blood or bleeding disorder is your decision. Disclosure is truly an ongoing process throughout life, and you have likely talked about the details of your disorder to many people before. As your relationships are getting more serious you may need to share your disorder with new people. A few tips to remember:

Be Patient.

You may feel like you are starting over, explaining your blood or bleeding disorder yet again to another new person. Thinking about the questions or concerns they may have might make you feel more prepared. For example, if disclosing to your partner’s parents or caregivers, they may have concerns about their child dating a person with a chronic condition. Give them time to adjust, answer their questions calmly, and correct them if they have incorrect information.

Educate.

Share websites you trust with them. They can start right here at Steps for Living! Give them written materials to read at their own pace. Set up a time for them to ask you questions about your blood or bleeding disorder. You can also invite them to a chapter event, such as an education day or walk, to meet other people in the community.

Reassure.

Explain to them that your bleeding disorder is treatable. If you are comfortable, share with them how you treat it. Address any concerns or questions they may have. For example, parents or caregivers of a partner may have questions about the genetics of bleeding disorders. You can share information from How Does a Person Get a Bleeding Disorder?

References:

National Domestic Violence Hotline (n.d.). Identify Abuse. The Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/